I think I saw a putty tat!
by The-Homeless-Turtle
Summary: Hiei finds Kurama at Yusuke's house, which is surprising. But what Kurama's doing there is even more surprising...
1. Chapter 1

**I did! I did see a putty tat!**

Author's Notes: So, I know the title is a bit… different. But there's a reason for that, and it's the reason this fic exists. I was in class with my friend, and she was telling me about this video she'd seen on Youtube, and it was about Kurama and Hiei. The title was something like, "Hiei saw a putty tat". To this day I dunno what that video is really about, 'cause I've never seen it. But when she told me the title, a fanfic idea immediately came to mind. And this is the result of that idea.  
Also, there's an alternate ending I wrote the day after I wrote everything else. Just go to about the middle(maybe?) of the next chapter to read that. (: Now, onto your story.

~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~

Hiei growled as he blurred through the trees, focused on Kurama's aura. He had spent the last half hour searching, but the redhead wasn't at any of his usual locations. Yusuke's house had been one of the last places he checked. And lo and behold, he'd felt faint traces of Kurama's energy. With another quiet growl, Hiei silently promised to pay the male back for the trouble he'd been put through.

But hey, all the more reason to hurry, right?

Hiei flew even faster to his location.

~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~

"Ohhh! Ohh- Ah! Yes! YES!"  
Yusuke bit his lip, and he turned his eyes in time to see Kurama's eyes slide closed.  
"Yes! Harder, harder! Oh yes!"  
The spirit detective's cheeks flushed, and he murmered quietly, "Oh god..." After a few more moments of heavy panting and the unmistakable clap of skin on skin, Kurama sighed.

"Yususke, please turn it off."

"...Ok."

He picked up the remote and the TV clicked off, putting an end to the erotic sounds and images. For a moment silence reigned, then Yusuke chuckled.

"Gee, Kurama. I thought you'd be able to handle some smut, being a centuries old demon."

"It's not that I can't handle it," Kurama replied smoothly, "it's just that I don't find it especially exciting to sit on your couch and watch tapes of humans having sex... while your mother is laying right there." He pointed at the unconscious woman with that, who was laying across the room snoring rather loudly now. Yusuke just scoffed.

"Please. She's totally passed out 'til noon. I'll be surprised if she 's up by dinnertime."

Then the teen turned and began rummaging around over the arm of the couch, looking like he was concentrating on finding the right object. That idea worried Kurama.

"Yusuke? What are you looking for? Do you need hel-"

"Here you go."

Instinct brought the fox's hand up to catch the thrown magazine. Kurama's eyes scanned the part of the cover he could see and he instantly recognized it for what it was.

"More porn," he murmured, with the slightest exhasperation. "And why are you giving me this?"

"Because it should make you feel better," the teen answered with a laugh. "If my mom does miraculously wake up while you're here, she won't see you watching any kind of video with me. And I think those girls might be your type. Go ahead, look." Kurama sighed quietly, but he opened the magazine as he was instructed, flipping through a few pages absently. After a moment the object was being offered back to Yusuke.

"Sorry. You missed," was all he said as he shrugged.

"Damn." And then the spirit detective was turned back around looking for another, leaving the redhead to glance down at the magazine he held before placing it on his lap.

"Ok, ok. That was a shot in the dark. Try this one."

Another magazine was tossed Kurama's way. Another was looked through for a moment. Another was set down.

After a pile had formed on Kurama's lap of the things, Yusuke groaned.

"Don't you like women AT ALL?" he asked, nearly out of things to show the unaffected demon on his couch. Now it was Kurama's turn to chuckle at his friends exhasperation.

"It's just that you apparently don't have anything I'd be interested in. Maybe your taste and mine just aren't the same."

"No! No, I have to have something in here for you! I have something for EVERYONE to be interested!" the black-haired teen exclaimed, looking once more through his resources. He muttered to himself as he worked, considering how to pick his next offer. "Ah. Maybe he wants something more graphic," he mused as he found yet another magazine. It too was thrown Kurama's way. The fox picked it up.

"Yusuke, I didn't know you had something like THIS."

"Hehehe, so you like that one?"

The redhead was about to answer when a familiar voice interrupted him.

"What is it that you like, fox?" Kurama looked over at the small demon while Yusuke tried to get over his surprise at the sudden intrusion.

"Hello Hiei. Very nice of you to drop by. It's rather unexpected."

"He didn't have to be THAT unexpected!" Yusuke cried indignantly. Kurama only chuckled at his discomfiture, while Hiei snorted derisively and approached the couch.

"You're foolish, Urameshi," the fire demon answered as he reached over to snatch the magazine from Kurama's hands, intent on seeing what could have brought the fox to such an unusual place. He ignored the half-hearted protests as he continued, "Why would I tell you I'm coming. That would simply be-"

Silence once again fell over the apartment, broken only by Atsuko's snoring. Kurama and Yusuke turned to look at each other, then back at Hiei. His face was obscured by the magazine he still held in his hand, so neither teen could see his expression. But he seemed especially still, and he didn't seem to be looking at the pictures so much as he seemed frozen in that position.

"Hiei?" Kurama began hesitantly.

"You alright there, three-eyes?" Yusuke asked with a note of concern.

As if the voices had slowly melted his shocked state, the small demon's hand slowly brought the magazine away from his face. The others saw that his expression was completely blank, though it seemed to be an obvious cover-up for some very powerful emotion.

It didn't look like lust.

The halfbreed brought his hand to hold the offending book over Kurama's lap, and it slowly slid from his grasp to the pile already present.

"Hiei," the fox tried again, looking for some clear reaction. "Are you alright?"

Without a word, the demon in question simply turned back the way he came, and walked out.

He didn't come back through the door.

That same surprised, slightly confused silence hung in the air, neither spirit detective knowing what to do or say.

"You think that was his first time seeing porn?" Yusuke asked finally, not looking away from the door.

"I think that's possible..." Kurama replied, his gaze still on the door as well.

Hiei wasn't seen again until the next time they were called for a mission.

When he was, nobody mentioned the incident at Yusuke's apartment.

**FINI**


	2. Alternate Ending

**I did! I did see a putty tat!  
**(Alternate version)

Author's Note: As I said, here's the alternate ending of "I did! I did see a putty tat!" Personally, I like this version better. Why don't you let me know what your favorite version was? (:

~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~

Hiei growled as he blurred through the trees, focused on Kurama's aura. He had spent the last half hour searching, but the redhead wasn't at any of his usual locations. Yusuke's house had been one of the last places he checked. And lo and behold, he'd felt faint traces of Kurama's energy. With another quiet growl, Hiei silently promised to pay the male back for the trouble he'd been put through.

But hey, all the more reason to hurry, right?

Hiei flew even faster to his location.

~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~

"Ohhh! Ohh- Ah! Yes! YES!"  
Yusuke bit his lip, and he turned his eyes in time to see Kurama's eyes slide closed.  
"Yes! Harder, harder! Oh yes!"  
The spirit detective's cheeks flushed, and he murmered quietly, "Oh god..." After a few more moments of heavy panting and the unmistakable clap of skin on skin, Kurama sighed.

"Yususke, please turn it off."

"...Ok."

He picked up the remote and the TV clicked off, putting an end to the erotic sounds and images. For a moment silence reigned, then Yusuke chuckled.

"Gee, Kurama. I thought you'd be able to handle some smut, being a centuries old demon."

"It's not that I can't handle it," Kurama replied smoothly, "it's just that I don't find it especially exciting to sit on your couch and watch tapes of people having sex... while your mother is laying right there." He pointed at the unconscious woman with that, who was laying across the room snoring rather loudly now. Yusuke just scoffed.

"Please. She's totally passed out 'til noon. I'll be surprised if she 's up by dinnertime."

Then the teen turned and began rummaging around over the arm of the couch, looking like he was concentrating on finding the right object. That idea worried Kurama.

"Yusuke? What are you looking for? Do you need hel-"

"Here you go."

Instinct brought the fox's hand up to catch the thrown magazine. Kurama's eyes scanned the part of the cover he could see and he instantly recognized it for what it was.

"More porn," he murmured, with the slightest exhasperation. "And why are you giving me this?"

"Because it should make you feel better," the teen answered with a laugh. "If my mom does miraculously wake up while you're here, she won't see you watching any kind of video with me. And I think those girls might be your type. Go ahead, look." Kurama sighed quietly, but he opened the magazine as he was instructed, flipping through a few pages absently. After a moment the object was being offered back to Yusuke.

"Sorry. You missed," was all he said as he shrugged.

"Damn." And then the spirit detective was turned back around looking for another, leaving the redhead to glance down at the magazine he held before placing it on his lap.

"Ok, ok. That was a shot in the dark. Try this one."

Another magazine was tossed Kurama's way. Another was looked through for a moment. Another was set down.

After a pile had formed on Kurama's lap of the things, Yusuke groaned.

"Don't you like women AT ALL?" he asked, nearly out of things to show the unaffected demon on his couch. Now it was Kurama's turn to chuckle at his friends exhasperation.

"It's just that you apparently don't have anything I'd be interested in. Maybe your taste and mine just aren't the same."

"No! No, I have to have something in here for you! I have something for EVERYONE to be interested!" the black-haired teen exclaimed, looking once more through his resources. He muttered to himself as he worked, considering how to pick his next offer. "Ah. Maybe he wants something more graphic," he mused as he found yet another magazine. It too was thrown Kurama's way. The fox picked it up.

"Yusuke, I didn't know you had something like THIS."

"Hehehe, so you like that one?"

The redhead was about to answer when a familiar voice interrupted him.

"What is it that you like, fox?" Kurama looked over at the small demon while Yusuke tried to get over his surprise at the sudden intrusion.

"Hello Hiei. Very nice of you to drop by. It's rather unexpected."

"He didn't have to be THAT unexpected!" Yusuke cried indignantly. Kurama only chuckled at his discomfiture, while Hiei snorted derisively and approached the couch.

"You're foolish, Urameshi," the fire demon answered as he reached over to snatch the magazine from Kurama's hands, intent on seeing what could have brought the fox to such an unusual place. He ignored the half-hearted protests as he continued, "Why would I tell you I'm coming. That would simply be-"

Silence once again fell over the apartment, broken only by Atsuko's snoring. Kurama and Yusuke turned to look at each other, then back at Hiei. His face was obscured by the magazine he still held in his hand, so neither teen could see his expression. But he seemed especially still, and he didn't seem to be looking at the pictures so much as he seemed frozen in that position.

"Hiei?" Kurama began hesitantly.

"You alright there, three-eyes?" Yusuke asked with a note of concern.

The voices seemed to slowly melt his shocked state, and the small demon once again looked alive. Yusuke let out a relieved sigh.

"Geez Hiei, it was like you turned to stone! Haha, I thought you- Hiei? Hiei, where are you going?"

The halfbreed had turned away, and he was now walking back toward the door.

He still had the magazine in his hand.

"Hiei," Kurama called after him, "you're not going to take that, are-"

The door slammed shut.

That same surprised, slightly confused silence hung in the air, neither human nor demon knowing what to do or say.

"Is he coming back?"

"I don't think so, Yusuke."

"...He stole it."

"...Yes. He did."

~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~

Yusuke slowly fell behind the group as they all headed toward Koenma's office. Hiei didn't react, simply walking along in his usual place among them.

"Ahem, um... hey Hiei?"

"What do you want, detective?"

Hiei still didn't look his way.

"Um..." The human fidgeted slightly. He didn't know how to breach the subject. "Well..."

"Speak now, human. Or your chance to speak with me will be gone."

"Right. Well, that is... you took my magazine. I was kinda wondering if you'd give it back."

The fire demon's eyes finally flickered to Yusuke's face, but the expression in them was dispassionate as he responded, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Aw, come on, Hiei!" Yusuke tried again. "It was my magazine! The one you took from Kurama two weeks ago!"

"I remember no such thing."

"It was my most graphic porno! Do you know how hard it was for me to get a hold of it! Hiei, I want it back!"

Yusuke blinked and stopped when he saw Hiei had come to a halt. Then he realized both Kurama and Kuwabara were staring back at them. Kurama looked mildly curious, and Kuwabara seemed to be in absolute shock.

"Urameshi?"

"Uh... Yes, Hiei?"

"You're an imbecile."

"...You're not going to admit you took it, are you?"

"I took nothing."

Hiei walked ahead of the group then, and he did so for the rest of the day.

Yusuke didn't ask for his magazine again.

**FINI**


End file.
